God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize