Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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