we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
