I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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