ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
