He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The police scanner is talking about you again....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
