I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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