its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize