You work out of a Hotel?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
