make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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