Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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