Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
