I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
