i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
