Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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