We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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