we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
