so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
