My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
