Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
