WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.