We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
