Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
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I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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