Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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