He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
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I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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