What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
