Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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