Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
