im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
