White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
