guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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