one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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