So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
