piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
