that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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