Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
