There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
