was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
3 2 1 whiskey
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
