If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
