Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
