Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
