D3 body, D1 cock
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
