and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
