between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
