He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
