The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
