He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
