Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
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