haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize