I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
