About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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