we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
