We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
