oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
