I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
