I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
