I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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