he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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