Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.