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I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.