I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
