epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
