the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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